


Bail Me Out (Will You Catch Me?)

by OverlyObsessed223



Series: umbrella academy one-shots where people give a damn about klaus [12]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Brotherhood, Drunkenness, Fights, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Good Sibling Diego Hargreeves, Good Sibling Klaus Hargreeves, Humor, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Jail, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-14 17:40:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29050047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OverlyObsessed223/pseuds/OverlyObsessed223
Summary: “Forget that, man, I need to hide in here for a minute,” Klaus says urgently. He tries to enter the backseat of the car, but Diego reaches up and pushes against his chest, shoving him away. “C’mon, man, those guys are on my tail and I have nowhere else to go!”“No way, Klaus,” Diego says, rather bewilderedly. “I’m not getting caught up in whatever shit you’re in!”“Diego,” Klaus whines, his knees bouncing up and down as the voices of his chasers. “Please!”He can practically see the wheels turning in his brother’s head as he considers Klaus’ insane request.“Fine,” Diego finally agrees with a weary sigh, and Klaus doesn’t hesitate to throw himself into the car and yank the door shut behind him.Fresh out of the Academy, Klaus and Diego can’t seem to stop making messes. Luckily, they also can’t seem to stop stumbling into one another.
Relationships: Diego Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves
Series: umbrella academy one-shots where people give a damn about klaus [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1890268
Comments: 12
Kudos: 172





	Bail Me Out (Will You Catch Me?)

**Author's Note:**

> So, I've really been wanting to write some good old Klaus and Diego bonding moments. And I did! I'm pretty proud of it, so I hope y'all enjoy this installment to this little series.

“So this is it, huh? You’re finally taking off?”

Diego pauses for a moment to glance up at Klaus, who is casually leaning against the doorway to his bedroom, arms crossed against his chest. He’s not looking at Diego—rather, he’s eyeing the partially stuffed bag sitting on the bed and the piles of folded clothes surrounding it. It’s not a lot, simply because Diego has never felt a need for material possessions as his siblings do, and it’s giving him a packing advantage for sure. 

He remembers Allison struggling to carry all four of her large suitcases downstairs and smirks internally. 

“Yup,” Diego answers unapologetically. This moment has been a long time coming, really. After Ben died, what once was a broken family dissolved into something unrecognizable, and for almost a year he’s been living in a house with strangers. 

He’s surprised it took him this long, honestly. Maybe he deep down didn’t want to be the first to leave. Vanya took the title of being the first last month when she moved off to college, and a week after that Allison was the second, a career lined up and waiting for her in California. Now, with only Klaus and Luther for company, Diego has finally decided to be the third. 

“What comes after?” Klaus asks. His tone is cool and has a bemused edge to it, but Diego’s come to learn that Klaus is a master of disguising his real feelings. For all he knows, this could be tearing his brother apart on the inside. After all, he and Klaus have drifted apart, but they’ve always had a connection. 

“I dunno,” Diego shrugs, stuffing another pile of shirts into his bag. “Get a job, find a place… live the rest of my life.”

“Sounds boring,” Klaus remarks, examining his nails.

“Figures you would find the concept of normality boring,” Diego says, rolling his eyes. It’s not an unexpected take, though. Klaus lives his life on the wild side, with little regard for his future. Diego doesn’t even know if Klaus _has_ a future in store—as much as it pains him to think about, Klaus’ unhealthy habits likely only have one outcome, and that’s him lying dead in a ditch. 

That scares Diego more than he’d like to admit. 

“I’m here for a good time, Di, not a long time,” Klaus gives him a lopsided grin and Diego tenses. 

“You _could_ be here for a long time if you started making better choices,” Diego snaps, and the grin falls off of Klaus’ face. Good—Diego doesn’t want any more dead brothers. 

Diego stuffs the last of his belongings into his bag and zips it up. Grabbing his knife case, he shoulders his bag and turns to face Klaus, who is gazing at him with a blank expression on his face. 

“Everyone else has moved on,” Diego says, though he knows Luther is the exception to that statement—but Diego knows better to assume Luther will wake up anytime soon. “Allison, Vanya, wherever the hell Five fucked off to. We’ve all decided we deserve better than rock bottom.”

Diego stops, suddenly aware that whatever he tries to drill into Klaus’ head will just go in one ear and out the other. Whatever. Klaus is no longer someone Diego is responsible for—they’re going their separate ways in life, and so now their lives are in their own hands. 

The Umbrella Academy is history—they’re not a team anymore.

So Diego sighs, claps his brother on the shoulder, and simply says, “Stay out of trouble, okay, Klaus? Good luck, man.”

“Yeah, you too, bro,” Klaus is smiling, but even Diego can see it’s forced. 

Diego squeezes Klaus’ shoulder one more time before turning and walking away. After one last goodbye to Mom, Diego steps through the front doors and embraces the outside world. He’s not sure if he’ll see any of these people again, but as he walks down the street away from the Academy, he decides it doesn’t matter. 

Diego doesn’t need any of them. 

* * *

Staying out of trouble turns out to be a lot harder than Klaus thought it would. 

He doesn’t regret leaving the Academy, though—after Diego bounced it was just Dad and Luther, and, well, one can only imagine what that was like. It was a lot of lectures and dirty looks from both of them, and it was only during the third breakfast with the two of them that Klaus realized he needed to get the hell out. Everyone he’d once stuck around for had already left, so that same night he packed a bag and climbed out the fire escape with a concerned-looking Ben in tow. 

He’s sure Dad and Luther will have many _riveting_ conversations in his absence. 

But Klaus quickly learns that life on the streets is _hard._ His supply of cash and drugs quickly dwindled to nothing, leaving him penniless and facing withdrawals. He’s a serious addict without access to a hit, so the need to get rid of the ghosts and the itch in his head is powerful and leads to very… _interesting_ situations.

Situations like the one he’s unfortunately in right now—being chased by a group of angry men for the small crime of stealing one of their wallets. 

It’s nighttime, which means two things: one, he can’t simply disappear into a large crowd, because there aren’t any large crowds to be seen. Apparently, everyone else is at home, in bed. The second thing is that even though the alleys are dark and shrouded in shadows, the street lamps are definitely giving his location away. 

“You can’t run forever, asshole!” one of the dudes yells from behind him. Klaus giggles as his bare feet pound against the sidewalk pavement—he sold his shoes weeks ago for cash, which he then gave away in exchange for drugs. Ben was _not_ happy about that particular transaction. 

Klaus is quick, so he has a sizable lead, but if he slows down they’ll surely catch him. As he runs, he comes across an empty parking lot with a single car parked in the middle. Glancing behind him, Klaus realizes he has two options: he can either keep running down the sidewalk, or he can take his chances and see if that car is unlocked. 

He takes option two, of course; Klaus has never been afraid to take chances when it comes to saving his ass.

Darting into the parking lot, he runs over to the car. It’s a very ugly shade of green and the paint is chipped and scratched. It looks like a piece of junk, so Klaus can only assume it’s abandoned. 

Klaus yanks on the car door handle. 

The good news is that the car is unlocked. 

The not so good news is that there’s a body lying across the backseat. 

Now, the nature of his powers makes it so he has no reservations when it comes to being around dead bodies—he would live in a box with a corpse if he had to. After all, he sees corpses all the time when he’s not high. Which, granted, isn’t a lot, but the point still stands. 

The problem is that this body is still breathing. Then, the problem worsens when the body wakes up from the car door being yanked open. It triples when Klaus realizes he’s seen this body before. 

“ _Diego_?” Klaus exclaims, making sure to keep his voice low as to not attract the attention of his pursuers. 

“Klaus? What the hell are you—”

“Forget that, man, I need to hide in here for a minute,” Klaus says urgently. He tries to enter the backseat of the car, but Diego reaches up and pushes against his chest, shoving him away. “C’mon, man, those guys are on my tail and I have nowhere else to go!”

“No way, Klaus,” Diego says, rather bewilderedly. “I’m not getting caught up in whatever shit you’re in!”

“ _Diego_ ,” Klaus whines, his knees bouncing up and down as the voices of his chasers. “Please!”

He can practically see the wheels turning in his brother’s head as he considers Klaus’ insane request. 

“Fine,” Diego finally agrees with a weary sigh, and Klaus doesn’t hesitate to throw himself into the car and yank the door shut behind him. “But be _quiet_ —I don’t want those guys finding us.”

“You got it, bro,” Klaus whispers as he lays his body down in the space in front of the backseat. “Quieter than a mouse—”

“ _Shut up!"_

Klaus snaps his mouth shut as the voices approach the car. Doing his part and shutting up, Klaus resigns himself to staring up at the ceiling of Diego’s car. The fabric covering the ceiling has begun to peel at the edges, hanging in a very unattractive manner. The fabric covering the seats, though clean of crumbs and dirt, is stained beyond saving. 

Both brothers hold their breath upon seeing flashlights outside the windows. Klaus squeezes his eyes shut tight. He really doesn’t want to get found, though he’s not too worried about what would happen if they do get spotted—now that he’s found his stabbiest sibling the tides surely would be turned. 

Then, the flashlights go away along with the voices. 

Klaus lets out the breath he was holding—that sure was close. 

“Why are you sleeping in your car?” is the first thing Klaus asks, breaking the silence. 

“Apartments are expensive,” Diego huffs. “Not like you would even know that. Do you even have a place of your own?”

“Of course I do, Diego, and it’s the nicest little place.”

“I mean somewhere that isn’t a cardboard box in an alleyway.”

“Oh. Then no, I don’t.”

The silence continues for a bit longer, both brothers simply staring up at the car ceiling. 

“I’ll buy you breakfast tomorrow,” Klaus offers—his way of saying “thank you.”

He doesn’t tell Diego he’ll be using the money he stole from those dudes. 

It’s the thought that counts, though, right?

“Deal,” Diego says—his way of saying “you’re welcome.”

Diego doesn’t kick him out of his car that night, and Klaus doesn’t run off with his wallet the next morning. 

That’s how they say “I love you.”

* * *

Diego doesn’t expect to see Klaus anytime soon after the whole hiding in his car situation two weeks ago. 

Oh, how wrong that assumption turns out to be.

Diego is currently occupying a booth at the back of Griddy’s, a single cup of black coffee steaming in front of him. Next to his cup rests a small stack of papers. It’s almost completely filled out, save for one blank space at the very bottom. It taunts him, and Diego has to clench and unclench his fists to stop himself from ripping up the papers into tiny little pieces. 

“Oh, my, what do we have here?”

Diego has to suppress a groan at the sound of Klaus’ voice. He’s begun to realize that merely being in the same city as his wild card brother is an undeniable cause for trouble, and so he tries to actively avoid the places Klaus seems to regularly visit. He’d assumed Griddy’s wasn’t one of those places, given Klaus’ consistent lack of funds, but maybe his brother recently came into some cash. 

Actually, that in itself would be worrying—Klaus tends to steal wallets, and with that habit comes trouble. 

Klaus plops down in front of him, grinning from ear to ear. He doesn’t look too different than he did a couple of weeks ago, though the skin on his face is tighter and stretches across his cheekbones. He’s paler, which is to be expected as the winter months set in, but there’s a tinge of grey under his skin that Diego doesn’t like. 

So he orders Klaus a milkshake and a plate of doughnuts. 

Not the healthiest way to put meat on his bones, but it’s a start. 

“Whatcha workin’ on?” Klaus asks in between sips of his milkshake, leaning forward to peer at the pile of papers. 

“It’s my application for Police Academy,” Diego answers before going back to chewing on the eraser at the end of his pencil.

“Oh, dope!” Klaus enthuses, pushing his milkshake slightly to the side. “Dude, you were born to be a cop. They’ll accept you in a heartbeat.”

“Mhmm,” Diego nods, but his heart isn’t into it. 

“Is there a problem?” Klaus tilts his head, and Diego shrugs. 

“Kind of,” he admits, shoulders slumping. “I have the whole thing filled out, but they require a reference from a former employer.”

“And?” Klaus furrows his brow, picking at his plate of doughnuts with a fork. “Just have Dad call them. The old geezer is always happy to assist his children who aren’t total disappointments.”

A guttural noise escapes from the back of Diego’s throat. 

“I already asked him,” Diego explains through gritted teeth. “The asshole said no—can you believe that?”

Klaus starts to shake his head no, but after pausing and considering the question he nods his head yes instead.

“So, what’re you gonna do?” Klaus asks, resting his chin in the palm of his hand as he eyes Diego curiously. 

Diego shrugs again because he’s at a dead end. There’s no way he can get a spot at Police Academy without his father’s help, and currently, the bastard is unwilling. It sounds like the piece of shit still harbors resentment for his children’s departures. He briefly considers calling Allison up and rumoring their Dad into calling, but the last person Diego wants help from is Allison. Well, actually, the _very_ last person is Luther, but Allison is a close runner up.

“If it were me, I’d just call the Police Academy myself and _pretend_ to be Dad,” Klaus says absentmindedly before shoving a piece of doughnut into his mouth. 

Wait. 

That gives Diego an idea. 

Klaus has always been good at imitating their father’s voice. Usually, he does it to mock him, but on occasion, Klaus does it to obtain something, like free movie tickets or information that’s blocked from the public. Diego has always rolled his eyes at his brother’s antics, but today… well, it might just work. 

“Can you?” Diego asks. “Can you call them and pretend to be Dad?”

Klaus freezes mid-chew. 

“I dunno,” Klaus frowns after swallowing his bite. “If they find out we’re duping them they might get pissed and deny your application.”

“At this point, I’m screwed either way,” Diego tells him. “Might as well take the chance, right?”

“Are you sure, man? You could just explain to them the situation. You’re the Kraken, I’m sure they’ll make an exception.”

“I don’t _want_ them to make an exception,” Diego argues. He’s not Allison—he doesn’t want handouts. “Klaus, please?”

“Well,” Klaus hesitates before giving in, “I guess you did just buy me dinner.”

So Diego sets Klaus up with a burner phone and puts his number down on the references page. They craft a carefully written script for him to say when the Police Academy calls, and by the end, it sounds pretty convincing. 

“Hello? Yes, it is I, Sir Reginald Hargreeves,” Klaus mimics, his hand in the shape of a phone and held to his ear. “My son, Number Two Hargreeves, would be an excellent fit for your Academy, as he was for mine. If you do not accept him, I’ll sue you into oblivion!”

Diego crosses his arms and sits back, rather impressed. 

“Perfect,” Diego says. “But quit going off script, dumbass, or it’s not gonna work.”

“But threatening to sue someone is _exactly_ what Dad would say,” Klaus argues.

“Not on behalf of his kids, though,” Diego says.

“Yeah, touche.”

Diego submits his application the next day, and he and Klaus don’t see each other for a while after that. 

A week later, Diego gets a call from a woman telling him he’d made it in.

She says his reference was what secured him the spot.

* * *

Klaus is nineteen the first time he gets picked up by the cops. 

“I can’t believe it took them this long,” Ben snarkily comments on the ride to the station. Klaus, handcuffed in the back of the police cruiser, shoots him the dirtiest glare he can muster, but Ben doesn’t seem to care. “Was the public indecency worth it?”

“It _was_ , I’ll have you know,” Klaus hisses, if only to prove his brother wrong. In all actuality, it probably wasn’t worth it at all, and he’ll probably begin to seriously regret it once he begins to sober up, but he’s certainly not going to tell Ben that when the shitheel is being such an ass. 

Upon arriving at the station, Klaus is whisked through thumbprints and mugshots, the latter of which looks _awful,_ primarily because his curls are such a mess right now. 

“You get one phone call, Hargreeves,” an officer tells him, and Klaus outright laughs at that. Who the hell would he call? He hasn’t been in contact with Diego for over a year, and it’s been longer than that for the rest of his family. There’s no one who would come and get him out… he made peace with that fact a long time ago. 

But that’s no excuse to waste a phone call. 

Taking the phone receiver into his hand, he carefully presses the buttons for Diego’s number and prays he hasn’t changed it in the last year. 

“Hey, Di,” Klaus slurs when the operator instructs him to leave a message after the beep. “Guess where I am, bro? You’ll never believe it, I’m in _jail_. Apparently, you’re not supposed to pull your dick out in front of a cop. Who knew, right?”

Ben throws his hands up and walks away. 

Klaus wonders what _his_ problem is. 

“They said I got a phone call, so I decided to call you. Feel lucky? You should,” Klaus waves off an officer who is motioning for him to wrap it up. “So, how’ve you been? Are you a real cop yet? Would you arrest me if I pulled my dick out in front of you?”

Probably realizing that Klaus isn’t using his phone call for anything substantial, they wrestle the receiver out of his hands and push him into the holding cell. As the bars click shut, Klaus takes a look around the cell—it’s already holding two other dudes, one of whom is passed out on the ground in the corner. The other is sitting on a bench, back against the wall. The guy sitting on the bench has a rather wicked face tattoo, and Klaus immediately strikes up a conversation about it. 

Hours pass, or maybe it’s only been minutes. Klaus can never keep track of time, especially when he’s drunk. Unfortunately, he begins to sober up, revealing a very angry woman with a gunshot in her head screaming at Face Tattoo Guy. 

Klaus can only imagine what he did to her, and it makes him feel sick. 

It’s either that or the alcohol. 

“Hargreeves!” the same officer from earlier enters the holding cell room. Klaus starts, unsure why he’s being called. Aren’t they supposed to at least wait until morning to let him go? That’s what Joey from the Irish Republic told him a couple of weeks ago—Joey is a regular here due to his constant drunkenness and a wife who refuses to let him into the house when he’s intoxicated. “You got bailed out. You’re free to go.”

The officer leads a very confused Klaus over to the front desk. Who on Earth would have bailed him out? 

His question is answered when he’s met with a very irritated looking Diego standing in the middle of the station lobby. 

“Thanks, officer,” Diego gruffly nods before grabbing Klaus’ arm and practically pulling him out of the building. Klaus is at a loss for words. It’s taking awhile to process what’s going on, partially because of the remaining alcohol in his system, but mostly because he never expected Diego to come to get him out. 

Diego yanks him through the parking lot, ignoring Klaus’ protests. Next to Diego’s car stands Ben, who is giving Klaus a very pointed, very stern look. Great, now he has to deal with lectures from two siblings instead of one. He would honestly rather still be in jail. 

“I got your message,” Diego says as he pushes Klaus into the front passenger seat. “Just so you know, whipping your dick out at me won’t get you arrested. It’ll get you stabbed.”

“Then _you’ll_ be the one in jail,” Klaus chuckles, and Diego slams his door shut. As Diego gets into the driver's seat and puts the key in the ignition, Klaus’ smile falls and he begins twiddling his thumbs. “Why’d you do that?”

“Because I wanted the chance to yell at you,” Diego says as he pulls out of the parking lot and onto the street. 

“You haven’t yelled at me, though.”

“Don’t worry, that’ll come later,” it sounds like a threat, and Klaus shrinks back into his seat. 

They fall into an uneasy silence as Diego drives into the night where there are no other cars on the road. 

Then—

“I couldn’t sleep knowing you were in there,” Diego confesses, his voice low and his eyes trained hard on the road ahead. 

Klaus isn’t sure the logic is sound—yeah, being held in jail sucks, but at least there was a roof over his head. Most of his nights are spent sleeping on the streets, with nothing but cardboard between his head and the night sky. 

But Klaus doesn’t bother to point that out.

* * *

If anyone asks, Diego is doing _fine._

Sure, he got expelled from the Police Academy, but the whole thing was corrupt anyway. Yeah, Eudora broke up with him because of his newer… nightly hobbies, but he still has hope that she’ll come around eventually. Yes, he did have to move into the boiler of a gym owned by some guy named Al in exchange for mopping the floors, but he never wanted to live in a normal apartment—this is much more on brand, and he likes it. 

So yeah, he’s doing just fine. 

Actually, he’s doing _great_. His nightly activities are finally allowing him to help people, rather than going through meaningless training that proved worthless. Sure, it’s against the law, but who cares about the legality of his actions when he’s saving lives?

And, okay, maybe he’s on his knees at gunpoint right now, but he’ll make it out of this. 

He always does. 

The streets are alive with the sound of music so loud that Diego can feel the bass vibrating the ground under his knees. He can see the remnants of the strobing lights from the next door rave from the dark alleyway he’s in, lighting up the faces of his captors, who, in Diego’s opinion, are the scum of the Earth. 

“We caught onto you stalking us days ago, you know,” the leader of the three men says, running his thumb along the blade of Diego’s knife, wrestled out of his gloved hand only minutes ago. “You’ve really been disturbing the peace around here.”

“That’s one way to describe it,” Diego says through heavy breaths. “I would say I’m restoring the peace by putting you assholes in jail where you belong. You think I don’t know you’re selling drugs to kids?”

The man pointing the gun at him shoves the barrel further into his skull, forcing Diego to lean forward until his body is parallel with the ground. 

“I wouldn’t—”

“Hey, what’s going on down here?” 

Despite the gun pointed directly at him, Diego whirls his head around to see his brother’s skinny figure standing at the mouth of the alley. It shouldn’t be a shock that his brother hangs around areas like this, but Diego hates running into people he knows when he’s on the job. 

“ _Diego_?” Klaus’ jaw falls—he seems as surprised as Diego. Good, they’re on the same page then. 

“Klaus, get out of here,” Diego hisses, but in typical Klaus fashion, his brother does the exact opposite. 

“Hey, hey, Steele, let’s just cool it, okay?” Klaus slinks up to the leader, Steele, with a wobbly smile on his lips. 

“Do you know this guy, Princess?” Steele frowns, using Diego’s knife to point down at him. Diego bristles at the pet name, but Klaus doesn’t seem bothered by it. That alone makes Diego want to stab every single creep in this goddamn city. 

“Yeah, he’s my brother.”

“... your brother?”

“We’re adopted,” Klaus says, glancing down at Diego. “But seriously, I’m gonna need you to let him go, Steele, baby.”

“He’s trying to lock us up!” Steele protests, but Klaus presses his hand to Steele’s lips and shushes him.

“He’s harmless,” Klaus says, and shoots Diego a quick glare to stop him from arguing that point. “He doesn’t know the law of the jungle yet. He’ll stay out of your way, I promise.”

Steele hesitates, but Klaus stands on his tip toes and whispers something into his ear. Eyes going wide, Steele nods and immediately motions for his men to let him go. Diego, rather perplexed, slowly gets to his feet. 

“Let’s go,” Klaus says, grabbing Diego by the arm and pulling him towards the street. 

“But—my knife!”

“Forget it,” Klaus rolls his eyes. “You’ll get a new one. Hell, I’ve sold off tons of your knives and you never even noticed they were gone.”

They turn the corner and begin walking down the sidewalk. Diego isn’t too sure where exactly they’re going. He’s pretty sure his car is parked in the opposite direction, but he’s not too worried about it. He’s primarily thinking about how embarrassing that whole situation was—him, Number Two, brought to his knees and having to be rescued by Number Four, the lookout. 

“Just so you know, I had that handled,” Diego says as they walk. 

“Yeah, it sure looked like it,” Klaus grins, elbowing Diego in the arm. “By the way, I am loving the new costume. Bruce Wayne would be proud, you know.”

Diego doesn’t take the bait and instead smirks proudly. 

“Don’t I know it.”

* * *

Klaus doesn’t get sick very often, but when he does it hits _hard._

His head is pounding and he’s so very congested, which only makes Ben nag him about his life choices even more than usual. He would be the happiest man in the world if Ben would leave him alone so he could sleep this bug away on a park bench, but no such luck. Instead, Ben is making him get water and food at the corner store—what an asshole, right?

Klaus grabs a bottle of water first, holding it by the cap so the drops of condensation don’t get him wet, and then proceeds to grab a twinkie despite Ben’s many protests about how twinkies are not healthy or fulfilling and he needs to pick out something else. Klaus simply rolls his eyes as he ignores his brother, ready to walk towards the register when suddenly, something catches his eye through the corner store window that looks out to the parking lot. 

“Hey, that car looks a lot like Diego’s car,” Klaus points out absentmindedly, and it’s not until he hears the bells signaling that the door to the shop is opening that the clues catch up with his brain. “Oh, shit,” he curses, and then goes into full panic mode.

On a normal day, Klaus would be over the moon to spot his favorite living brother in the wild, but the last time they were together they had a nasty argument. He can’t remember exactly what all was said, but he knows it stemmed from Klaus trying to tell Diego that Ben was in the room with them as a ghost. It was Ben’s idea, and ever so guilty about his brother’s situation, he went along with it, but it quickly backfired when Diego refused to believe him.

So… it’s awkward.

He immediately ducks behind a rack of candy bars, feeling panic start to overtake him because he _really_ doesn’t want to come face to face with Diego, not so soon after their last fight. 

“Klaus—“ Ben starts, but Klaus quickly cuts him off with a glare. 

“We ended up in this position because last time, I listened to you,” Klaus hisses, trying to keep his voice as low as possible. “So shut up and quit judging, jackass.” 

He hears the heavy footsteps of Diego’s combat boots moving around the store, and Klaus shuffles around the rack, darting behind another rack that’s closer to the door. 

“I’ll just… come back later,” Klaus starts to set the water and the twinkie down, ready to make a run for the door.

“Don’t you dare,” Ben narrows his eyes, his hands on his hips like a goddamn soccer mom. “Look, don’t talk to him, whatever, but you _need_ the water, Klaus. Just go up to the register, and if you ignore him, he might ignore you.” 

“I know the risk of getting stabbed doesn’t mean much to you anymore now that you’re dead, but it’s very real for me and I really don’t want to die today.”

Klaus doesn’t even hear the footsteps start to get closer and closer to where he’s hiding, too engrossed in this argument. 

“Klaus?” Diego’s gruff voice causes Klaus to jump a foot in the air, the water and twinkie falling to the floor in his surprise. He spins around slowly to see Diego looking at him bewilderedly.

“Oh, hey there, brother mine, what a surprise!” Klaus plasters a grin on his face, leaning on the rack as casually as he can because the shock is wearing off and he’s left with the same fatigue that’s been following him around all day. 

“What the hell are you doing?” the confused look on Diego’s face doesn’t ease up. 

“Oh, you know, I’m just shopping for, uh—“ Klaus realizes he doesn't know what rack he’d been hiding behind, and he grabs a random item and holds it up, quickly reading the label, “—fire ant traps. You know, sometimes the old alleyway has some critters taking up residence, so I need this to help clear them out. Science has come so far, huh?”

“Jesus Christ,” Ben hides his head in his hands to try and block out the incredibly painful scene playing out in front of him. 

To his credit, Diego doesn’t seem all too phased by Klaus’ fumbling, probably blaming it on drugs which, yeah, are playing a huge role in this. 

“Yeah, I guess,” Diego gives a half-hearted nod and then eyeballs him closely. “You look like shit, man.”

“Ah, yes, that would be the ants,” Klaus fakes a laugh, just wanting this awkward conversation to be over already. “They just won’t let me sleep. Keep biting me and shit.”

“You still don’t have a place?”

“Of course not, Diego, what would give you _that_ idea?” Klaus crouches down to pick up his water and the twinkie, trying his hardest not to lose his balance and stumble. “Now, I’d best be off, I have ants to trap and all that.” 

“Would you shut up about the ants?” Diego rolls his eyes. “Klaus, you look horrible—are you sick?” 

“Tell him _yes,_ ” Ben demands before Klaus can lie through his teeth.

“Sources tell me _yes,_ ” Klaus gives into his brother’s requests, feeling too tired and worn down to get into yet another argument. “But I’m getting all this stuff so I’ll be right as rain soon enough.”

Diego raises an eyebrow as he glances down at the items in Klaus’ hands. “A twinkie, Klaus? Seriously?”

“Thank you!” Ben throws his hands up in the air.

“Hey, be glad I’m not snorting crack cocaine tonight,” Klaus glares at them both. 

“Give me that,” Diego rudely snatches the twinkie out of his hands, tossing it back onto the twinkie rack despite Klaus’ protests. “God, how are you even still alive?”

“Please, _please_ don’t start with the “my body is a temple” lecture, I’m begging you,” Klaus whines as Diego grabs onto his upper arm, pulling him around the store. Diego continues to grumble under his breath about “idiot brothers who are going to get themselves killed” but thankfully he refrains from giving the usual lecture, which is all Klaus could have asked for. 

Diego pulls a few containers of microwaveable chicken noodle soup off one of the shelves, wordlessly shoving them into Klaus’ arms before grabbing a box of saltine crackers and adding them to the growing pile in Klaus’ arms. Klaus gapes at it, not entirely sure what Diego thinks he’s doing, and he would rather eat the twinkie instead of all this. Truth be told, he’s not even that hungry, but at least the twinkie would taste good. 

Last but not least, Diego grabs a couple of boxes of various medicines, but those he holds onto instead of pawning them off to Klaus. 

“Let’s go,” Diego grunts after grabbing a bottle of water for himself, likely what he came here for in the first place. 

“Um, I definitely don’t want to buy all this stuff,” Klaus frowns, staving off a coughing fit as Diego leads him to the register, hesitating to put the stuff in his arms down on the counter for the girl to ring up. “I just wanted water and a twinkie…”

“Just set the shit down,” Diego snaps, and Klaus obeys the command, not wanting to make him angry when they’re clearly treading on thin ice here. Klaus releases his grip on the items in his arms, letting them tumble onto the counter, and with a quick smile, the girl begins to scan and bag it all up. 

Klaus prepares to pull the little cash he has out of his underwear, but before he does Diego pulls his wallet out of his pocket and pulls a few bills out, handing them to the cashier. 

“Oh,” Klaus says dumbly as the girl gives Diego his change. “Uh, thanks. I guess I owe you one.”

“Yeah, sure,” Diego replies as they leave the store, and he probably knows that Klaus will never be in a position to repay Diego for everything he’s done for him. 

Klaus smiles to himself because that feels like an olive branch if there’s ever been one. 

The cold winter air hits Klaus’ skin, and he maneuvers the bag holding his newly bought goodies to hang from the crook of his elbow. He wraps his arms around his middle, fighting to keep himself from shivering too violently. He’s failing miserably. 

“What happened to your coat?” Diego questions as they walk across the parking lot. His tone is accusatory and knowing, and Klaus wonders why Diego would even ask when he probably knows exactly what happened to Klaus’ coat. 

“Oh, y-you know…” Klaus grins sheepishly, forcing his words through his chattering teeth, trying to think up an excuse and coming up empty. “Drugs, w-what else?”

“Jesus, Klaus,” Diego huffs, the winter air making his breath visible. “Is there anything you _won’t_ do for drugs?”

“Nope.”

Diego sighs, giving him a look that says _what the hell am I supposed to do with your idiotic ass?_

“W-Well, thanks… f-for the s-stuff,” Klaus glances down at the bag, and it’s a double win because Ben seems happier as well. Ben is always happy when they run into one of their siblings. “I’ll s-see you when I see y-you?”

Diego pauses for a moment, glancing at his car and looking conflicted. 

“Get in the car, man,” Diego finally says, rounding the car to get into the driver's seat, and Klaus stands there dumbly. He only moves when Diego honks the horn, getting into the backseat of the car like he always does, Ben phasing through the door to sit next to him. His body practically melts when he’s hit with the warm air of the interior of Diego’s car, no longer shivering as he relishes the feeling of not being subjected to the harsh winter wind. 

He never feels cold when he’s inside Diego’s car. 

* * *

Diego never thought he’d ever know what jail looked like on the inside. 

He’s the hero, the good guy. The person who helps people, someone who _cares,_ and yet he’s sitting in a jail cell glaring at the bars with his arms crossed against his chest. The worst part is that it would be impossible to argue that this isn’t at least partially his fault. 

Klaus is sitting on the ground, propped up against the wall with his legs splayed out in front of him. He’s currently making faces at the opposite wall, which is pretty much par for the course when it comes to Klaus. Unlike Diego, he doesn’t seem bothered by their predicament—at twenty-seven years old, he’s likely been here a lot. 

Diego breathes in deep and tilts his head back against the wall. 

Hanging out with Klaus always solidifies Diego’s theory that Klaus is a trouble magnet. Hell, the reason they’re in here is that they got into a brawl at _Joann's Fabrics_. Klaus had been looking for fabric to patch up the hole in his favorite coat and got into an argument with three guys who wanted the last meter of the fabric Klaus wanted. The argument got violent, as they always do with Klaus, and Diego was quick to jump in, never one to pass up the opportunity to show people who’s boss. 

(Or maybe he didn’t want to see his little brother get pummeled.

The jury’s still out on that one.)

Well, the manager of Joann’s Fabrics called the cops, and now they’re here.

They both passed up the chance to make a phone call—such an endeavor would be pointless. None of their siblings would even come to the phone, much less their father, and he doubts Eudora would feel like paying his bail. The solid truth is that Klaus and Diego are the only two who would bail the other out, and since they’re both in here, they’re pretty much stuck. 

They’re sitting in silence, hours passing them by.

“We’re gonna be in here awhile, aren’t we?” Klaus breaks the silence, tapping his shoes together repetitively. 

“Yeah,” Diego glowers, lifting his gaze to stare at the grey ceiling. “No thanks to you—you couldn’t have picked another type of fabric?”

“Of course not,” Klaus exclaims, hovering his hand over his heart in shock. “This coat is the nicest thing I own—you can bet your ass I’m not sacrificing fabric quality to patch it up.”

Diego huffs in response.

A few more moments of silence trickle by.

“You know, you don’t have to get mixed into my shit,” Klaus says after a moment, and Diego raises an eyebrow at that. “Back there—you could’ve just left me to deal with my own problems.”

And doesn’t Diego know it. Over the years he’s found himself in situations he never could’ve dreamed of being in, just because he refuses to cut Klaus out of his life. It would be so easy to forget about his junkie brother and live a semi normal life where he’s not jailed for getting into fights at major fabric stores. 

“But I didn’t,” Diego says.

It’s become a simple piece of his life—to watch his brother’s back. Years ago, when he first left the Academy, he was so sure he was choosing to turn his back on his family. Now, he’s starting to think it wasn’t him, but _them._ Allison left, Vanya wrote that damn book, Luther was truly never looking out for them in the first place. 

But Klaus didn’t. Despite every argument, every fight, every uphill battle, Klaus has probably been the most consistent part of his life outside of the Academy. Sure, Klaus himself is a wild card, and it has the tendency to get the both of them in trouble… but Diego isn’t sure he minds as much as he thought he would. 

At least his life isn’t boring.

“I’d do the same for you,” Klaus says, a lazy grin on his face. 

Diego doesn’t doubt that.

“I know, bro.”

Certain they’re going to be in here the entire night, Diego settles in and gets comfortable. Laying down on the cold metal bench, Diego closes his eyes and tries to block out the sound of Klaus mumbling to himself in the corner of the cell. 

Then, he hears footsteps. 

“Diego, Klaus,” Beaman’s voice says from outside the cell. Diego opens his eyes and turns his head to see a ring of keys in Beaman’s hand. “You guys are good to go.”

For a moment, Diego and Klaus both simply stare at Beaman in stunned silence. 

“Are you sure?” Klaus asks, and Beaman nods his head. 

“You both got bailed out,” Beaman explains as he sticks a key into the cell lock, pulling the door open. 

Diego and Klaus both step out of the cell and follow Beaman through the station. 

“I thought you said you didn’t call anyone,” Klaus says to Diego.

“I didn’t,” Diego insists, his eyes stuck for a moment on the back of Eudora’s head on the other side of the room. 

Beaman leads them to the room where the front desk is, but adding to the confusion is the fact that there’s no one in sight, save for the woman behind the desk. 

“Wait, so who bailed us out?” Diego asks Beaman as the officer shuffles through a few files. 

“He didn’t want to give us a name—he paid cash,” Beaman answers, and judging by the look on his face, he’s just as perplexed as Diego and Klaus. “He was an older guy carrying a big briefcase. He said, and I quote, “tell those two morons to stay the hell out of trouble from here on out.” Which, I have to say, whoever he was, I agree with him.”

Diego wracks his mind, trying to think of anyone who remotely matches that description, but comes up empty. 

“Huh,” Klaus blinks. 

Ten minutes later, they’re free. Diego’s car is still parked at Joann’s, which is only a fifteen minute walk away, so they begin making their way down the near empty street.

“What if it was Dad?” Klaus theorizes as they walk. 

“No way,” Diego shakes his head, stuffing his hands into his black parka. “Dad would never go out of his way to bail _us_ out.”

“True,” Klaus chuckles. “Well, whoever he is, he wants us to stay out of trouble. You think that’s gonna happen?”

“If I keep hanging around you? Not a chance, bro.”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

The truth is, trouble doesn’t find them— _they_ seek trouble out without even meaning to. Numbers Two and Four are brash, arrogant, problem creators, and neither will hesitate to throw the first punch in defense of the other. In a harsh, cruel world that refuses to hand either of them any favors, they look out for one another because no one else will. 

They’ll get into brawls at Veteran bars, they’ll go on high speed ice cream truck chases, and they’ll pull each other through crumbling houses brought down by angry, powerful little sisters. 

That’s how they say “I love you.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think!
> 
> Thanks for reading, and I'll see y'all next time! :)


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